Wednesday 16 March 2011

FUCK OFF

I was in a brilliant mood tonight; after a really nice heart-to-heart with Scruffdude last night, I was feeling really positive about the sex life. He doesn't want to fuck me around cos he's involved with someone else but it's open but it could become closed at some point so he just wanted to make that clear which is nice of him I thought to be considerate enough. I already knew it all but even so.
But then! I tell my best friend who knows practically everything about me, and she goes on a tirade to me about how it's really fucking odd and he's grooming me and I need to "grow the fuck up". She makes the point that I've never had a real relationship with someone my own age, and going out with the guys has become normal for me even though it's really not and anyone else would call it fucking weird. And I crave it and I'm trying to make myself feel better by doing it. And how I should be making more of an effort with people my own age. FUCK OFF!
But I don't care! I enjoy doing what I do! I. WANT. TO. DO. IT.
She says she's looking out for me. She probably is. But every FUCKING time I am happy or pleased about my sex life, she ALWAYS undercuts it with a negative comment. And it drives me fucking insane.
I admit, it IS odd. It IS fucked up. But I AM FUCKED UP! And it suits my situation down to the ground this method. Why shouldn't I do it? Besides, I've come off the sites now so what's the issue?
Argh I'm too angry to know what to think. Help?
Much love dudes xx

2 comments:

  1. you´ve analyzed it correctly:
    “...every FUCKING time I am happy or pleased about my sex life, she ALWAYS undercuts it with a negative comment. And it drives me fucking insane.“
    some people are happy to make others feel miserable because then their help is needed, then they feel needed. it´s wicked and not necessarily done in a mean spirit, but still...

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  2. sorrysorrysorry, just read the following post and understand things better now.
    btw you write great!

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