How physical are you two? You mentioned something about him feeling at ease touching you, didn't you? I was thinking maybe you should try to be more physical with him. Reach behind him and rub his back and shoulders every now and then. If you ever watch TV together, try sitting closer and closer to him and see if he's bothered by you sitting right next to him. If he seems ok with that, try rubbing his thigh once or twice while you're sitting next to him. If he doesn't seem to mind that, try leaving your hand on his thigh after you're done rubbing him.Get him used to regular physical contact with you. That could eventually lead to hugging and maybe your first kiss if he gets completely used to the body contact.
Well, I kinda already do all of this. So does he. If he's sitting down on one of the benches in the common room or vice versa, sometimes we'll go over to each and just put our hands on the others shoulders and rub them in a...I don't even know, we just do. He's got quite a bit thing about his nipples being really horny for him; it's common knowledge in our friendship and we all laugh and joke about it. I always rub his nipples because of this, hoping he'll sport a boner one time lol! Quite a lot of our friends do this as well and he always says "guys stop it, you're desensitising them!" and it's harh-har-har, but he definitley lets me do it to him more often than anyone else. Especially if we're sat at a table alone in the common room, I could go at it for 5/10 minutes before he tells me to lay off jokingly and I will. If we're in company however, he'll pretty much tell me to stop straightaway with his signature line.
We ALWAYS rub each others thighs. Literally all the time. If we're sat across from each other, he'll rub up my leg with his leg; if we're sat next to each other, he'll rub my leg sometimes, though not very often, and I'll do the same. Though one time, he grabbed my hand under the table and put it on his leg so I started stroking and then I felt something hard. It was his wallet and it was his sick idea of a joke and we had a laugh about it but for a brief second, I thought he was being serious! lol! This happens in the company of other people as well. Happens less often when we're alone together, mainly because there's less chance of passing it off as a joke I suppose.
We also had a kiss on New Years Eve which I posted on the blog, I called him my crush back then haha. It wasn't much. He'd arrived at the party, sober; I was a bit tiddly and giddy, gave him a massive bear hug and got chatting with him and a few people, I cracked a joke about him kissing him, puckered up my lips and stuck my neck out. He puckered up and leant forward and kissed me. We both leapt back and looked at each other in a kind of nervous laughing "wtf" awkwardness before our mates laughed it off. I KNOW I didn't fall into him, he definitley kissed me, not the other way around; whether or not it was an accident or not I don't know, but his reaction was similar to mine, complete shock lol!
I'll leave it up to you lot to assess this. Bear in mind I'm probably slightly biased though I've tried not to be lol
Much love dudes, hope all is well in YOUR love lives! And Happy March btw! A day late, but hey, ever closer to summer! Bring it on! x
Wow! That sounds to me like you're most of the way there with him already. I'm convinced even more after reading this post he is interested in homosexuality.
ReplyDeleteNow you just have to take it further a bit at a time. I'd try kissing him again sometime when you're alone. Maybe be rubbing his back and shoulders, look in his eyes and when you get that deep emotional feeling from eye contact, see if he'll go for a non- drunk affectionate kiss with you.
If he goes for that, I'd say something along the line that maybe you two should be doing that more often.
As an aside, I was thinking of something that might make him more comfortable with man to man affection and sex, although this group isn't really homo and disapproves of some homo stuff like anal sex. Have you ever heard of g0ys (that's spelled with a zero)?
They're guys that believe in deep emotional relationships between guys. That relationship may include sex, but may not. It's up to the guys involved. Their whole thing is they say they aren't queer and they dislike unmanly men.
If you could expose him to some of their stuff, maybe that would help him get more comfortable in being a boyfriend with you, although some of their stuff may be a bad influence like their hatred of anal sex.
They have a web page. It took me a while to figure out just what they were about:
http://www.g0ys.org/
Their page on how to basically seduce a guy into a g0y relationship is here:
http://www.g0ys.org/initialize.htm
Scroll down to the "Real Life Example" the guy gives and that's a pretty neat story the guy gives on how he gets naked with a guy he loves. Some of the pictures are hot, too.
Let me know what you think? Maybe you could tell him about it and go through the web site with him. Start out with, "Have you ever heard of g0ys?". If he hasn't, go through the page saying how much you like their stuff, except you're homo. Maybe at some point, while going through the page and discussing manlove, you could even tell him you love him if you think it's the right time.
Just another idea and, no, I'm queer, not g0y.
I'm more convinced than ever now that he's at the very least homo- friendly. I'm wondering now if it might be best to slowly move forward with the physical contact you're already doing rather than possibly scaring him off by talking with him about you two?
ReplyDeleteI still think you should be obvious to him that you're queer but maybe just improving on what you're already doing would be enough to not have to discuss it?
Maybe try spending more time alone and see if he'd be comfortable holding hands with you for a while. Maybe even kiss him on the cheek while you have your arm around him.
If he accepts you kissing him without a problem, try and see if you can get that eye contact and move in for a real good sober mouth kiss. If you want to be bold try slipping your tongue in his mouth. Once he reciprocates to that, I'd say you've succeeded.