So Near Yet So Far Pt. 2

Here's Fred's comment that he tried to leave. I'll let you guys read it and I'll tell you what I think as when go through:-

From what you've written, I'd say the odds are your friend is at the very least homo curious. I'd say there's a good chance you could end up together as boyfriends. I wish haha

First of all, although I'm not sure how old you two are, the vast majority of guys I've known had their first male/female sex in their teens to their early twenties. If you two are older that that group, there's generally a reason for being hetero virgins. It certainly could be from not being sure of yourselves around women, but I'd think it more likely the interest just isn't there. We're both 18 and I'm 98% certain the reason he's a virgin still is because he doesn't know how to handle women; same reason as me really but that's beside the point lol. I'd like to hope it's because he's just not interested, because that IS the way it comes across sometimes. He's had REALLY hot women hit on him and he's just knocked them back which everyone found odd. He tells me that he doesn't find those specific women attractive but I know I'd find it hard not to, and I'm pretty much homo! lol!

Second, you say he's homophobic and always ridiculing gay people. There's a good chance guys like that are trying to hide their own homosexuality, otherwise they wouldn't always be making fun of other queers. It's been said, and I tend to agree, that those who are the loudest in attacking queers are often trying to hide the queer feelings they have. I agree with this, never been proved outright to me yet but it makes perfect sense.

As an aside, back when I went through basic training in the Army, there was one guy in our company that rumor had it was homo. There was another guy that relentlessly and publicly attacked him verbally for being queer. Later on in the training cycle on a free weekend most of the guys went out and partied it up. He came back to the barracks drunk and hopped into bed with the supposed queer guy and tried to make out with him.

You can imagine that story went around the barracks like wildfire. The guy could have died from embarrassment and I almost felt sorry for him. He never picked on the homo guy again after that episode. It just took some booze for the homo in him to come out. Awkward.

The question with your friend is to how to bring the queer out in him so he doesn't feel threatened and go further into the closet trying to hide it. Trouble is, I don't want to be trying to lure out something in him that might not exist. I feel like I need more proof he has some gay feelings.

I'd say the place to start is to let him know you're queer but you'll probably want to start out slowly. Maybe just drop some hints, but do it when you're alone with him so he won't feel the need to make fun of you to prove his masculinity. He'd do it anyway. He's insecure like that.

I know my old best friend sounded like quite the homophobe. He was always making disparaging remarks about queers. He'd even jokingly refer to me as one because I defended same- sex marriage. He'd often say, "Ah, you're just a butt- loving homo.", to which I'd reply,"Yeah, I am". He never realized I was telling him the truth.

Towards the end of our relationship he was over at the house and just finished making some anti- queer remarks to which I'd always give him a courtesy laugh. Then he quieted down and said, "You know, they say the guys that are the loudest in making fun of queers are often queer themselves". I replied, "Yep. That's what they say".

I've always wondered if he was trying to tell me something then? I didn't pursue it because I had absolutely no sexual interest in him at all. Not my type for a boyfriend. This is what my friend does, but in public in front of people, so it's probably just bullshit, but I pretty much always reply honestly when he asks me if I'd suck his cock or take up him up my ass lol

Ok, back to your friend: You might also want to try what worked for me with a guy I had the hots for that I'd known for years. He was also friends with the guy I mentioned above. They used to both join in making anti- homo remarks when they'd be over at my house, although this guy wasn't as much of a macho anti- homo guy as my best friend.

I finally told myself I had to tell this other guy I was queer if only because I was desperate for a boyfriend and thought he was a good candidate for one.

One day he came over and we were standing around smoking and drinking. I felt it was time to tell him so I manipulated the conversation to sex and we got to talking about blowjobs and such. Finally, I just said, "You know, I love sucking cock. Always have". He seemed surprised I'd admit that, not so much that I might be queer.

When he didn't seem to have a problem with that, I cut loose and told him all the stuff I had bottle up inside me all those years. That I love anal sex and everything else queer about me. He stood there listening, seeming happy I'd taken him into my confidence. To make a long story short, we ended up getting sexual together for a while until an unfortunate event caused a break up. This is pretty much what I'm intending to do now. At least I'll have aired my feelings either way.

So, you might be surprised at your friend's reaction. Still, I don't know you'd want to be that upfront about it as I was. Maybe others have some good suggestions about how to open up to him in a way he won't feel threatened? Regardless, he sounds like a good possibility for a boyfriend for you, imo. We would be awesome together, but who knows. I'll grow a set of balls and try and talk to him at some point. It'll probably be a long way off though. Many thanks though man, this has been majorly helpful. :)