Wednesday 18 May 2011

Is It So Wrong?

When all the stuff about me shagging around came tumbling out to my parents, one of their main concerns was because it was with guys who were older than me. A lot older than me. They were concerned about "their intentions" with me. Which I can understand. To an extent.
If I try and look at it bluntly, my parents were shocked that I had suddenly become a sexual being in their eyes, and they were even more shocked that older gents found me satisfying and attractive, which perversed them, leading them to assume that I was groomed, because OBVIOUSLY, I should be attracted to guys my own age.
Sorry Mother, Father, WRONG. My main attraction has ALWAYS been the older gent. Childhood crushes include:- Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Dalton. See a young face among them? No chance.
Is that so wrong? To be attracted to people older than yourself? I suppose if we flipped the argument, and said someone younger, much younger, it could turn quite sinister and disturbing. But I'm talking strictly within the bounds of the law. I'm 18 now (HURRAH. Had a great birthday, got very drunk as expected.) so it's not like any bloke shagging me now would be breaking any laws.
But what my parents said that night about the older blokes, it's made me feel guilty about this attraction. Shamed of it even. And then I thought today, "No, why the hell should I be afriad to like who I like? They're are plently of cross-generational couples, more so in the gay community.". I'm more concerned about my mother honestly; RelationshippyGuy was deemed too old for me and she said of him "I just think it's a bit odd that he hasn't found anyone he would like to settle down with yet.".
He was 29 Mother! If she expects me to find someone at 20-odd and marry them like she did, she's one off. Besides, the age difference between her and my dad is easily a decade, so she poses little argument for anything younger than that in my opinion. But the point is that I'd still feel uncomfortable about bringing a bloke home if he was any older than 20. Even if he was 20, I'd still feel really awkward about it. I know I'm lucky that I could bring blokes home in the first place if I wanted and that the parents have been accepting as they have, but I still feel unsure about it. I know the solution is to talk to them about it, but there's not much point doing that until I'm in a relationship with anyone, which at the moment, is unlikely. Crushdude post to follow shortly. Peace out bruvva-luvvaz x

*EDIT* - I forgot to include the proponent of this whole debarkle; my best friend, who was saying that all the blokes I were seeing were immoral or screwed-up for wanting to shag someone so young. She called it perverse and twisted I remember. But again, she's got no right to tell who I shouldn't see, and honestly, I don't think I'll ever forgive her for telling my parents and betraying me like that, it was none of her damn business. She could say as much as she liked about how she had my best interests and safety in mind, but it makes no odds, I feel the way I feel.

Also, a big shout out to the anon commenter who said I write great! Many thanks for that, positive little comments like that are always appreciated, especially since I barely get any commenters from my readership but I'm glad to know you're all there anyway! Also, could you all do me a HUGE favour and go on over BestMaleBlogs and rate my blog for me, maybe leave a comment about it; I'm going to try and push out into wider blogosphere methinks. I'll owe all of you a seriously top notch blowjob haha! Cheers guys, much love x

5 comments:

  1. No, Joey, it's not wrong or bad or whatever that you are attracted by older guys. Aside from the hysterical stuff around pedophilia, there's nothing about an inter-generational relationship that's any less valid or meaningful than relationships between more closely contemporary guys. There's certainly enough of a history of older people exploiting the vulnerabilities of younger ones, and vice versa, so your parents' reaction seems pretty classic protective behavior for all they've missed the point.

    You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are sensitive and insightful about the guys you play with/get involved with. If someone were trying to exploit you, I suspect you'd sense something wrong and get yourself clear of the situation.

    Phillip

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think your parents are just a step behind where you actually are. I mean, I could understand the way they feel IF you were just hanging out with a older dudes - because there could be the "is he just trying to get our son into bed" question in their minds. Their position would make sense then.

    But you've crossed the Rubicon (didn't think I'd use that expression in a blog comment) because that's exactly the reason you're meeting older guys. They just haven't got their heads around that. TBF I'm not sure if I was their age and had a kid that I wouldn't feel the same at least in the beginning. Parents just get protective.

    And realistically, you've probably got as much chance of being "hurt" emotionally or otherwise by a guy your age anyway, perhaps more. In their favour, older men probably can't run after you as fast, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Forgot to add, if you're in the UK, you've been legal (apart from with those in position of trust) since you were 16 so IF you were playing around during the last 2 years at least you can set your mind at ease on that score.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very good points gentleman. That does make sense, Peace! Thanks for commenting :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Joey,

    I have enjoyed reading about your experiences and take on life. You come across as a level headed guy and I have really taken to your humour.

    Are you planning any more posts? What is/has been happening to you?

    A great blog I hope you will paost some more. Drop me a line at my google account. Cheers from a very cold UK.

    ReplyDelete