SRSLY BONED UP

JESUS CHRIST I AM HORNY

Seriously I could fuck anything right now. Fucking dripping and rock hard. I want really flithy, and rough, and wet sweaty sex. bareback. i'm sorry and i know it's not safe but it feels so much better so no i'm not sorry really. I want someone's cock to slaver all over and someone's mouth for me to fuck and then their hole (vagina, male anus, female anus, i don't give one! ANY) for me to annihilate. I told you all to go jack off, gonna need to myself. This is gonna be a GOOD one.

Foreskin Poll Results + Shoddy Analysis!

I have one! And it's fucking awesome.   23 (27%)   I have one. But it's shit and I want it removed asap.   0 (0%) I DID have one but then got it removed and regretted it ever since.   3 (3%)   I DID have one but had it removed and it was the best decision of my life.   1 (1%)   I got circumcised pretty young. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything.   39 (46%)   I got circumcised as a kid and wish I hadn't been.   17 (20%)

I'm with all 23 of you second majority people; I agree having a foreskin is fucking awesome and wouldn't change it for the world. This view is clearly shared by many foreskin beholders and none think it is (prepare yourself for my eloquent language usage here) "shit and want it removed asap." Also, very unfortunate for the 3 chaps who did have the snip after having experienced life with the hood, feelings extended to you! To the one chap who did get rid of it and thought it was the best decision of his life...WELL YOU'VE RUINED MY POLL SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I joke, I joke, thanks for your input! The third majority of 17 gents, "I got circumcised as a kid and wish I hadn't been"; maybe start researching into foreskin replacement surgery? I'm SURE that'll be available somewhere in Serbia or something. Keep me posted. Finally, 46% of you who think that you haven't missed out on anything, I guess you'll never find out, and I never want to find out what it's like not to have had any foreskin since year dot so WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER SO LETS JUST DROP IT AND BE FRIENDS. YES. Good. Sorry, I'm giddy today for some reason. Done some more thinking about Crushdude again (cue sighs from readers), so I shall make a post shortly regarding that. And extremley sorry for the SHITTY formatting in this particular post; whenever I try to make a new paragraph, it sends my typing cursor somewhere crazy so I'm stuck writing like bloody Dickens. Pfft, hardly. Now, you lot, go jack off and return shortly for new thought processes! Peace out bruvs x

The Plot Thickens...Again...

So, yesterday he tells me
"Dude, I'm not going out with **** anymore."
...Come again? WHAT THE HELL HAHA!?
I ask why, he says "She sent me a text last night saying that's we've both got a lot of revision and work to do and we're both away for a lot of the summer so there seems little point starting anything at the moment"
Seems fairly sensible to me. I ask him how he feels about it in private.
"I'm a little bit gutted tbh. But I get where she's coming from. Number one priority now: EXAMS"

So now I'm right back to square one and having nooooo clue what on earth is happening lol.
His attitude towards me hasn't changed a bit so he's clearly not homophobic or anything like that. Who knows.
Like a commenter said on my last post, I'll just have to "jack off and WAIT." haha amen to that brother. Amen!

A Spanner In The Fucking Works

Spoke to him this morning. Here's how the conversation kinda went:-

"Hey dude, up this manly chat then?
Yeah sure man, where you wanna go?
Anywhere, not bothered, let's walk and talk.
(we walk)
So, you first, you started the conversation on Monday
Yeah i guess i did haha. Oh dude btw, did you know I'm going out with **** ******* now?
(...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. This is the fucking spanner in the works btw. I pause for a moment looking dumb.)
This doesn't affect our conversation does it?!

Nah mate! When did that happen?!
On Friday.
No way! Haha, you slipped her a finger yet?
Haha nah man.
Awesome lol.
So the question I asked on monday was something to do with your sexuality wasn't it? lol
 Yeah it was.
If you're gay or not. Because if you are, I don't care, I'm still your best mate and everything.
Yeah I know. Well I reckon I am. I mean,  I'm open to interpretation. I wouldn't turn down a smokin' babe you know. But vice versa for lads.
Yeah man. That's cool. Does anyone else know?
Yeah, **** knows so talk to her if you like.
Ah right. Makes sense. Well thanks man.
What about you? You said on Monday that you weren't sure.
Well, I don't know, I meant that, I feel comfortable enough in myself, and my sexuality to kinda, be a bit more, full on with lads.
(Heart sinks. And it's not melodramatic)
Ah right, I see. Well that's cool."

And that's how the conversation ran.
So basically I feel like a twat. I feel like I've constructed this romantic fantasy of how it'll all work out beautifully for us two. Bullshit. I'm so angry and annoyed at myself.
But also at him, for how he makes me feel. I would have given up SO much to be with him. I'm talented in my own way, and I would have given up this talent I have to be with him; this is the talent that I'd use to pursue my dream career. I'd become a burger flipper at McDonalds for him if it meant we could be together. I love him. I'd jack my whole life in to be with him securely until we both die happily. And to him, it's nothing. He says I'm his best friend, I can't be, he didn't even tell me he started going out with this girl!
And I feel sick with jealousy at her! Utterly SICK. It makes me so full of rage to think that SHE'LL be kissing him in public. SHE'LL be the one who gets his hugs, his attention, just him. She's only started liking him since Easter! Oh my god, I sound so fucking petulant and adolescent and fucking ridiculous but I don't care. This is what I'm feeling. Angst. Fucking teenage angst.
And to think that she's going to be his special one, that he'll lose it to. And I'll be left behind. I want to cry my eyes out because I'm so upset but I can't because I'm so angry as well.
Thought about telling him that I really like him tomorrow at college. Then thought against it, saying that it's not ruining what we've already got. Now I have no fucking idea.
It's just such a fucking shame. Because we could have SO much more. That could be a million times better than what we have already. I don't know. 
I'm sorry, someone else go. x
 

The Plot Thickens

Howdy y'all, sorry for the long time to post but not much has been happening, apart from last night.
Went out with a few friends and Crushdude into town to get pissed and have a good time. At the first bar we were at, we played Spin The Bottle (how juvenile haha); Crushdude spins, it lands on me, he immediatley grabs me with both hands on my face and just plants one on me. Shocked to say the least haha. I spin, it lands on him, we kiss again. We drink up and head to the next bar.
We're at the bar together getting a drink:-
Dude, lemme ask you this, are you gay or straight
...(i look sheepishly trying to figure out my response and whether i should finally tell him or not)
Now's not the place for it mate. No privacy.
Alright but you know I wouldn't care, cos I'm your best mate and yeah.
Are YOU gay?
...(he stares at me clearly trying to figure out what to say)
err, well, i dunno, there's times when i'm not sure, but i don't think i am.
Right. Well now's not the place to be talking about this. But we'll talk later, don't drunkenly forget we've had this conversation haha!
Haha, no way man. Sure thing.

A bit later while we're all sitting around a table together, we catch each other's eyes. I nod, and say "That's all you need me to do to know my answer". He nods. The night continues as normal. And nothing changes between us. He's still touchy feely with me. We all get very drunk and it was a fantastic night.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?!
What if he's forgotten. I've not spoken to him since last night yet so I have no idea. I'm bloody terrified. Really need some help on this chaps, what do you reckon I should do, and how do you read this situation? His reaction, what he said etc.
Cheers dears! Much love and hope you're all safe and well, bye! x